you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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