Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
