I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
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