He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
