please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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