I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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