THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
