the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
