I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
