I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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