She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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