Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
