Do you still have your period?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize