i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
