you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
