He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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