very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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