I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
