"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
