I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
