just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
