he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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