I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
