Porn is love you can see.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
