Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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