He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Non-Jews are for practice
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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