You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dignity is for republicans.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How's work?
Spinning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
