i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
