she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
