Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
