Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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