she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
