I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
