I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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