There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
