god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
