i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
