Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
