Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize