We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
did you just send me my own nude
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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