When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
