He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
