hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
