There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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