Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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