In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
