I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
