we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She bit a glass in half.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
