Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
