so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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