Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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