ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
