hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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