I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
