Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
