I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize