it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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