I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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