Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
