so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I AM VODKA MAN
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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