she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize