Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize