its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
