dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
