I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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