i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Terrible idea I love it
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
