like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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