i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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