It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
