they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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