Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize