I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
