just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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