Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
