I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
